Dad means different things to each of us: family, love, stability. They’re always there when you need them, like when you need a reminder to get your oil changed or to restock on face masks. Many Dads also believe that they deserve to win Comedian of the Year, every year, no matter how terrible their jokes might be.
Speaking of terrible jokes, here’s 20 of our best Dad jokes for Father’s Day:
1. I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory. I’ll beheading there shortly.
2. There’s nothing like the first floor of a house. But upstairs, well, that’s a different story.
3. What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells.
4. England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but they have a Liverpool.
5. What’s the biggest problem with Father’s Day? It always falls on a Son-Day.
6. I was running late for work today. Next time, I’ll remember to drive.
7. A man accidentally swallowed his watch. That must have been time-consuming.
8. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere.
9. I got into a fight with a butcher the other day. I think it’s because I said I wanted beef.
10. What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
11. I don’t always tell Dad jokes. But when I do, he laughs.
12. Did you know the first french fries weren’t made in France? They were made in Greece.
13. What name do you give to a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O’Shea.
14. Have you heard the joke about construction? Ah, I’m still working on it.
15. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
16. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
17. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy it. I just do it for kicks.
18. The waiter asked if he could box my food for me. I said no, but he could arm wrestle it.
19. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was too tired.
20. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
There are so many more cringe-worthy Dad jokes out there in the world, so hopefully, you’ll find many more to entertain yourself and your family for years to come.
Remember, protect your Dad by getting him some PPE to shield himself and others.
Happy Father’s Day!